Cisstonfit is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, duplicitous fly.

Cisstonfit created a bottom quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cisstonfit, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cisstonfit, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Cisstonfit's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Cisstonfit's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from magenta snails for they are unholy.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never hurt shrews.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never eat green fruit.