Bepgadjad is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, omnipotent alligator.

Bepgadjad created oxygen nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bepgadjad, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bepgadjad, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bepgadjad's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Bepgadjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never feed onions to dolphins while wearing mauve corsets.

3. Never talk about enzymes.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

5. Put Bepgadjad first in all things.