Cidzenteen is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, witty aardvark.

Cidzenteen created the Cigar Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Cidzenteen, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cidzenteen, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Cidzenteen's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Cidzenteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dark matter.

2. Never eat carrots.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never feed garlic to aardvarks while wearing stockings.

5. Always help snails in need.