Hasmisnilvan is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, charitable dog.

Hasmisnilvan created a strange quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hasmisnilvan, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hasmisnilvan, he will turn you into a slug.

Hasmisnilvan's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Hasmisnilvan's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shoes.

2. Always treat sharks with great respect.

3. You must pray to Hasmisnilvan three times a day.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.