Loopvagdod is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, capable eagle.

Loopvagdod created snails five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopvagdod, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Loopvagdod, she will turn you into a worm.

Loopvagdod's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Loopvagdod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always help goats.