Ponkenham is a god.

It takes the form of a small, grumpy tortoise.

Ponkenham created the Tadpole Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ponkenham, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ponkenham, it will send you a sign.

Ponkenham's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Ponkenham's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of peanuts to tortoises while wearing magenta rings.

2. Never think about dark matter.

3. Ponkenham loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

4. You must love Ponkenham.

5. Do not drink alcohol.