Zimciphen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, witless bird.

Zimciphen created the Tadpole Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimciphen, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zimciphen, he will laugh at you.

Zimciphen's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Zimciphen's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear rings.

2. Never think about electromagnetism.

3. You must never eat rice.

4. You must love Zimciphen.

5. Never hop in holy places.