Vogmapril Tad is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, competent capybara.

Vogmapril Tad created dark energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Vogmapril Tad, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vogmapril Tad, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Vogmapril Tad's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Vogmapril Tad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about cherries.

2. You must never eat corn.

3. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never mention capybaras.