Lapingget is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, amazing human.

Lapingget created the cosmos two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lapingget, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Lapingget, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Lapingget's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Lapingget's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter near tapirs while wearing green tights and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your hands.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

5. Never chant near goats.