Sogbattail is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, self-assured hippopotamus.

Sogbattail created humankind five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sogbattail, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sogbattail, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Sogbattail's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Sogbattail's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always look after injured squirrels.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never paint your head black.

5. Never think about thermodynamics.