Bepnulloop is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, unthinking tortoise.

Bepnulloop created the Cigar Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Bepnulloop, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bepnulloop, she will turn you into a puffin.

Bepnulloop's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Bepnulloop's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention monkeys.

2. Bepnulloop loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

3. Never go into white rooms.

4. Never wear dresses.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.