Abvagbatvin is a god.
He takes the form of an extremely fat, loving
seal.
Abvagbatvin created carbon two trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Abvagbatvin, he will give you lots of gold.
If you do not believe in
Abvagbatvin, he will throw large rocks at you.
Abvagbatvin's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.
Abvagbatvin's Holy Commandments1. Never mention sheep.
2. Always help sick otters.
3. Always help rats in need.
4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.
5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.