Omtminyam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, self-confident crow.

Omtminyam created viruses five billion years ago.

If you believe in Omtminyam, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Omtminyam, she will refuse to believe in you.

Omtminyam's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Omtminyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear purple shorts.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always help dogs.

5. Worship no other gods but Omtminyam.