Goddandan is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, contented cow.

Goddandan created the Large Magellanic Cloud two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Goddandan, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Goddandan, he will turn you into a worm.

Goddandan's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Goddandan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter near badgers while wearing turquoise hats and balancing three titanium spheres on your neck.

2. Shrews are not to be trusted.

3. Always help hamsters in need.

4. Retreat if eight pigs approach from the south.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.