Natgonhiv is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, contented penguin.

Natgonhiv created the planet Saturn four billion years ago.

If you believe in Natgonhiv, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Natgonhiv, he will turn you into a rat.

Natgonhiv's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Natgonhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never talk about moths.

4. Do not wear red clothing.

5. Never chant near voles.