Badbangun is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, all-powerful seal.

Badbangun created the solar system eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Badbangun, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Badbangun, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Badbangun's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Badbangun's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Badgers are not to be trusted.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Badbangun in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never eat bark.