Yakkabpit is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, passionate slug.

Yakkabpit created dark matter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yakkabpit, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yakkabpit, she will turn you into a tree.

Yakkabpit's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Yakkabpit's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Yakkabpit.

2. Hide if nine horses approach from the east.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Never sit in holy places.

5. Fast once a month.