Wapbonpang is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, all-knowing weasel.

Wapbonpang created the cosmos twelve years ago.

If you believe in Wapbonpang, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Wapbonpang, it will strike you with lightening.

Wapbonpang's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Wapbonpang's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always help sick capybaras.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Retreat if four monkeys approach from the west.

5. Hide from yellow snakes for they are unholy.