Wippangdan Bonmatkap is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, charitable wasp.

Wippangdan Bonmatkap created energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wippangdan Bonmatkap, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Wippangdan Bonmatkap, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Wippangdan Bonmatkap's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Wippangdan Bonmatkap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat turnips.

2. Never feed garlic to otters while wearing tights.

3. Feed all hungry shrews.

4. Do not keep six mites in a large pit.

5. Do not hurt monkeys.