Somfitnib is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, temperamental pig.

Somfitnib created the planet Saturn three billion years ago.

If you believe in Somfitnib, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Somfitnib, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Somfitnib's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Somfitnib's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Somfitnib in the centre of the settlement.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Somfitnib.

5. Never think about enzymes.