Nilgadman Zimlogsin Neltunsin is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, temperamental slug.

Nilgadman Zimlogsin Neltunsin created a strange quark two years ago.

If you believe in Nilgadman Zimlogsin Neltunsin, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nilgadman Zimlogsin Neltunsin, he will turn you into a worm.

Nilgadman Zimlogsin Neltunsin's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Nilgadman Zimlogsin Neltunsin's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Feed all hungry gulls.

4. Do not shave your head.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.