Vagvinbed Barnrenwat Botlakhen is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, amazing crocodile.

Vagvinbed Barnrenwat Botlakhen created tapeworms nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vagvinbed Barnrenwat Botlakhen, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Vagvinbed Barnrenwat Botlakhen, he will turn you into a rock.

Vagvinbed Barnrenwat Botlakhen's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Vagvinbed Barnrenwat Botlakhen's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about dark matter near eagles while wearing mauve jumpers.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never mention sheep.