Hadtonkwat is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, irritating deer.

Hadtonkwat created the Tadpole Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hadtonkwat, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hadtonkwat, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Hadtonkwat's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Hadtonkwat's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Put Hadtonkwat first in all things.

5. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.