Soghogwap is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, overgenerous faun.

Soghogwap created Africa eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Soghogwap, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Soghogwap, she will not care at all.

Soghogwap's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Soghogwap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Never feed lots of strawberries to grasshopers while wearing gray dresses.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Erect a giant black sculpture of Soghogwap in the centre of the settlement.