Jiplimbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, caring weasel.

Jiplimbonk created gold five billion years ago.

If you believe in Jiplimbonk, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jiplimbonk, he will turn you into a slug.

Jiplimbonk's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Jiplimbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured porpoises.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Feed all hungry foxes.

4. Do not eat gooseberries.

5. Never talk about fire.