Karfenkan is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, contented duck.

Karfenkan created Asia nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Karfenkan, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Karfenkan, it will make you grow a tail.

Karfenkan's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Karfenkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention horses.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never hurt gulls.

4. Retreat if four pigs approach from the south.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.