Ruttmonrutt is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, narcissistic weasel.

Ruttmonrutt created gold six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ruttmonrutt, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ruttmonrutt, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Ruttmonrutt's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Ruttmonrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near ducks while wearing turquoise stockings and balancing seven silver spheres on your hands.

4. Hide if eight swans approach from the west.

5. Retreat if six goats approach from the north.