Sabkimstik is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, flying crane.

Sabkimstik created the universe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Sabkimstik, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sabkimstik, he will remove you from existence.

Sabkimstik's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Sabkimstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear corsets.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Sabkimstik loves rats, so they must be respected.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.