Gessbogkim is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, tranquil cow.

Gessbogkim created a Higgs boson eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gessbogkim, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gessbogkim, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gessbogkim's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Gessbogkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat gooseberries.

2. Gessbogkim loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always stare at clouds.