Toffenkikcansas is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, caring troll.

Toffenkikcansas created water seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Toffenkikcansas, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Toffenkikcansas, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Toffenkikcansas' most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Toffenkikcansas' Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.

2. Always help sick bats.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never look at nebulae.

5. Never talk about gravity near seals while wearing fawn tights and balancing six copper spheres on your arms.