Kanbomhog Bagjophun is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, temperamental cow.

Kanbomhog Bagjophun created the planet Venus three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanbomhog Bagjophun, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Kanbomhog Bagjophun, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Kanbomhog Bagjophun's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Kanbomhog Bagjophun's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near tortoises while wearing green rings and balancing nine gold spheres on your arms.

2. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics near badgers while wearing orange corsets.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.