Tarphenhombug Voncinced is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, unthoughtful rhinoceros.

Tarphenhombug Voncinced created a charm quark four years ago.

If you believe in Tarphenhombug Voncinced, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tarphenhombug Voncinced, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tarphenhombug Voncinced's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Tarphenhombug Voncinced's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate ants.