Xuczimmob is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, uncaring manatee.

Xuczimmob created vertebrates six billion years ago.

If you believe in Xuczimmob, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Xuczimmob, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Xuczimmob's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Xuczimmob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. You must never eat garlic.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not dye your hair pink.

5. Never talk about fire.