Nurthimpogartvanflaphivgig is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, omnipotent raccoon.

Nurthimpogartvanflaphivgig created Europe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurthimpogartvanflaphivgig, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Nurthimpogartvanflaphivgig, he will laugh at you.

Nurthimpogartvanflaphivgig's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Nurthimpogartvanflaphivgig's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never bounce near foxes.

4. Run away from purple shrews, for they are unholy.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.