Gofvidgad is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, blissful lobster.

Gofvidgad created life seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofvidgad, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gofvidgad, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Gofvidgad's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Gofvidgad's Holy Commandments

1. Great tits are not to be trusted.

2. Hide from yellow grasshopers for they are unholy.

3. Erect six iron sculptures of Gofvidgad on top of important buildings.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never think about stars.