Lagzagquill Gigdimpomhinpomkab is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, idiotic deer.

Lagzagquill Gigdimpomhinpomkab created an atom two years ago.

If you believe in Lagzagquill Gigdimpomhinpomkab, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Lagzagquill Gigdimpomhinpomkab, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Lagzagquill Gigdimpomhinpomkab's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Lagzagquill Gigdimpomhinpomkab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Worship no other gods but Lagzagquill Gigdimpomhinpomkab.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never mention tapirs.