Libquimveg Hapnar is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, sapient cow.

Libquimveg Hapnar created water six billion years ago.

If you believe in Libquimveg Hapnar, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Libquimveg Hapnar, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Libquimveg Hapnar's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Libquimveg Hapnar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick seals.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Libquimveg Hapnar must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics near doves while wearing green corsets and balancing eight tin spheres on your arms.