Bifhotomt is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, duplicitous porpoise.

Bifhotomt created the planet Saturn three million years ago.

If you believe in Bifhotomt, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bifhotomt, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Bifhotomt's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Bifhotomt's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never write about solid mechanics.

4. Do not shave your feet.

5. Bifhotomt loves badgers, so they must be respected.