Kikwiphub is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, passionate dolphin.

Kikwiphub created the Sombrero Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Kikwiphub, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kikwiphub, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Kikwiphub's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Kikwiphub's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Hide from orange doves for they are unholy.

3. Always treat voles with great respect.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not wear green clothing.