Cemfarnadmonmitladsombab is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, irritating chinchilla.

Cemfarnadmonmitladsombab created snails nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemfarnadmonmitladsombab, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cemfarnadmonmitladsombab, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Cemfarnadmonmitladsombab's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Cemfarnadmonmitladsombab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat coconuts.

2. Never talk about enzymes.

3. Feed all hungry grasshopers.

4. Do not kill hamsters.

5. Cemfarnadmonmitladsombab must be the most important thing in your life.