Targkadman is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, impressive dove.

Targkadman created the Cigar Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Targkadman, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Targkadman, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Targkadman's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Targkadman's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest pink.

2. Never feed parsnips to ants while wearing shorts.

3. Run away if six tapirs approach from the north.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not shave your arms.