Kipjencap is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, smart centaur.

Kipjencap created Africa nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kipjencap, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kipjencap, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Kipjencap's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Kipjencap's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not drink water in black rooms.

3. Never feed wheat to shrews while wearing turquoise tights.

4. Always help birds in need.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.