Safbigced is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, self-confident turtle.

Safbigced created the solar system two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Safbigced, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Safbigced, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Safbigced's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Safbigced's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Worship no other gods but Safbigced.

3. Never wear rings.

4. Never write about optics.

5. Always help mice in need.