Flisquimhanlen is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, tiresome goat.

Flisquimhanlen created everything that exists three million years ago.

If you believe in Flisquimhanlen, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Flisquimhanlen, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Flisquimhanlen's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Flisquimhanlen's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always help great tits.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never look in ponds.