Homvanfet is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, moody beaver.

Homvanfet created the Black Eye Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Homvanfet, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Homvanfet, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Homvanfet's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Homvanfet's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed beans to hamsters while wearing turquoise hats.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Homvanfet.

4. Do not keep nine aardvarks in a large pit.

5. Never think about eukaryotes.