Kangilstik is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, vain bear.

Kangilstik created Asia nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kangilstik, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kangilstik, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Kangilstik's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Kangilstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt otters.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kangilstik.

3. Always look after injured manatees.

4. Do not take Kangilstik's name in vain.

5. Do not shave your hands.