Barndabvonk is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, dishonourable shrew.

Barndabvonk created tapeworms nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Barndabvonk, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Barndabvonk, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Barndabvonk's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Barndabvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Barndabvonk in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not wear nickel on your body.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.