Jatbimmet is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, humane dugong.

Jatbimmet created water twelve years ago.

If you believe in Jatbimmet, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jatbimmet, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Jatbimmet's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Jatbimmet's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine seals approach from the west.

2. Run away from magenta voles, for they are unholy.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate cats.

4. Never sit in holy places.

5. Always pray immersed in water.