Vognargil is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, all-knowing salamander.

Vognargil created the cosmos eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vognargil, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vognargil, it will send you a sign.

Vognargil's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Vognargil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near aardvarks while wearing mauve ear rings and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your head.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never skip in the presence of capybaras.

5. Always wear pink.