Bimwigfut is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, humorless dog.

Bimwigfut created Europe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bimwigfut, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bimwigfut, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Bimwigfut's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Bimwigfut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. You must never eat turnips.

3. Do not shave your face.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Bimwigfut must be the most important thing in your life.